.5.
Journal Entry: Tue Jan 23, 2007, 3:29 PM
After recently deleting my profile and feeling "out of loop" I started feeling better after I found this on Encyclopedia of Stupid.
Myspace is stupid.
Myspace is a social networking website created for preteens and teens as a way to further isolate themselves from their parents and sexualize themselves more quickly. Myspace allows these children to create an entire web page dedicated to themselves and they generally decorate it accordingly. Many kids who think they're "hip" and "cool" use Myspace and spend hours looking at other people's profiles, endlessly posting poorly written messages and waiting for the love of their life to come online.
The Tween Crowd
As mentioned in the opening paragraph, tweens are not ones to be left out of squandering their lives away wallowing in the filth of Myspace. The tween crowd is one of the largest groups on the site. Most of their time is spent refreshing Death Cab For Cutie's page at an alarming rate.
Goths
Goths, as in real life, are the shittiest (and gayest) Myspace users. They make their backgrounds all black with some death metal or punk rock band, and take pictures of themselves in white makeup or extreme closeups to hide acne or obesity. They have songs by Linkin Park playing in loops on their page, which also happens to be the music that they cut themselves to (see Suicide). Goths also like to use Myspace to post a suicide note after someone takes them off their top 8.
Pussy Hounds
These users tend to post pictures of their big muscles or them riding a wave on their long pieces of foam they call "Surf Boards." They also post pictures of themselves with attractive women, who 99% of the time turn out to be their sister or cousin. Since about 50% of Americans live in The South, this also means that 50% of these women have had or are having sexual relations with the man in question. These users are well known for sending out bulk form letters consisting solely of: "Hey your hot."
Slutty Attention Whores
These girls post pictures of themselves in bikinis and revealing clothing because they think that this will somehow improve their lives. In fact, all it does is get them raped. Sometimes Rape is justifiable. These users are well known for leading along the Pussy Hounds, sending hundreds of short, barely-qualifying-as-messages in order to get more compliments posted on their page.
Losers
These are mostly fat or ugly people who take wierd pictures of themselves in what's known as the fatty ninja cam-whore fakeout shot. This is to either hide their fat or their ugliness so people won't ridicule them on the World Wide Web.
Scenesters
Scenesters are by far the worst type of Myspace user. They are high in numbers and low on opinions. Scenester Myspace pages usually have a small font, with random quotes like "I murder faces!!!" so that others will view them as "eccentric" and "unique." Pictures of these dreaded scenesters are commonly black in white and distorted with awful pictures drawn in paint, to once again fool viewers into thinking they are artistic and complicated. They will usually have the most number of friends, often pushing five digits, because they have no friends in real life and desperately care about what other people online think about them.
Unfortunate Gay Guys
Since the near collapse of Friendster in 1984, many of the orphaned gay males have transitioned to Myspace in hopes of reconnecting with past hookups, fellow fashion victims, and other gay males of the sort that are routinely seen in cities carrying empty messenger bags. Myspace is used by many gay men for self-aggrandizement, as they will often have thousands of friends (97.6% of whom they do not know or will never meet in person.)
Unfortunate Gay Guys will use background images of female celebrities dressed in nearly nothing in order to attract guys that are seeking masculine guys. You see, posting images of females and other assorted hot girls announces a gay man's masculinity regardless of how broken his wrists may be. Many other gay males also use "tricked-out rides" (cars) to further advertise their masculinity.
On the flip side are fashion victims and label sluts, who post images of designer labels, shoes, bags, purses (for some), underwear, shirts, and other assorted clothing items. You see, labels increase gay men's chances for a hookup, or in this case a new Myspace friend -- or maybe even a rocking message posted by some other fashion victim to the tune of "yOu RoCk ToTaLlY!"
Overtly Sexual Bisexual Woman
One of the more common subgroups on Myspace is the Overtly Sexual Bisexual Woman. In reality, this woman is a fifty year old man masturbating at his computer. He gets quite a rush every time a member of the Pussy Hounds leaves him a dirty comment or message. While most people would shrug off such an obviously fraudulent profile as a parody of the Slutty Attention Whores, the Pussy Hounds find the OSBW a prime candidate for “discreet” fun outside of Myspace. As coincidence would have it, the fifty year old male is also the majority of the Role Playing Crowd.
The Role Playing Crowd
The Role Playing Crowd is an intricate network within the social networking scene that must carry on the legacy of such canceled bastions of pop culture as Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While masturbating to Myspace is great fun, it’s made all the more pleasurable when you're trading messages as if you were living a doomed romance between Willow and Buffy. The Role Playing Crowd doesn't pose a great threat to anybody, being largely self-contained and speaking its own fantasy language.
...Heh
- Listening to: Hollywood Undead
- Watching: Kevin sleep
- Eating: Pizza?
- Drinking: Drinking OJ, better make sure he dont kill me
DeviantID Moi
In a cocoon
Devious Comments
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fish don't gots no good metal to listen to
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MY EBAY ART
MY OFFICIAL WEBSITE
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~Life's a bitch, and so am I~
nice gallery
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princess of darkness! grr
I'll have some more stuff up tomorrow
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Check out my alter ego at =Maielle
and my Chat at #TheFostersHome
If it makes you feel girthy, It must be worthy!
--
Check out my alter ego at =Maielle
and my Chat at #TheFostersHome
If it makes you feel girthy, It must be worthy!
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